How To Ask For What You Want And Get It

Avoid negative words like 'don't', 'won't', 'not'. Ears always pick out negatives like dogs hearing invisible whistles.

Instead, ask questions. Ask a lot of them. The human brain is wired to answer questions.

Preface each query with a neutral observation followed by 'How can ...?' or 'Would you consider ...?' questions. Be consultative, thoughtful and sympathetic. This relaxes detractors and gets them in a more collaborative frame of mind.

For example, you're in the middle of Cube Farm and want to move to a window. The word comes from Inhuman Resources that the answer is probably no.

Before throwing the mother of all strops, ask a series of questions, for example:

'Seating plans must be a nightmare. How do you guys do it?'

'If people want to move, what are ideal times or situations to do it?'

'What advice would you give for anyone who wants to move to a window seat?'

Work your way in. It's much more effective than bludgeoning.

Anyone can ask. But not everyone gets what they ask for. Aim to ask skillfully, which is essentially making the other person come up with the answer you wanted.